My story

This is a story of an old man, a septuagenarian, falling in love with a woman 33 years his junior. The  problem is not the age factor but mainly because she is from China. She belongs to a category of women known as xiao long nu (little dragon girls) or "china dolls" which are of course very degrading!  But they certainly do not enjoy a good reputation in Malaysia or Singapore!

Many a man, especially Chinese businessman in Malaysia or Singapore are found to be falling for the charm of these women. Many kept them as mistresses, as we called "金屋藏娇"。 Many had marriage problem caused by these indiscretions and many more got their businesses and fortunes ruined due to these misadventures! They are known to be family destroyers!

I think it would be unfair to categorize my friend Qiao as belonging to this group because she earns her living through sweats and hard work, working with her friends as cleaning workers. I always say that, if only the Malaysian authority or the Chinese women community would condone, they would have been working just like others as the Phillipino  or Indonesian maids.

Because I am honest about this affair, and because I want to get married to her (registered marriage), the problem came to a hitch.  My seven children, yes all seven of them, are not happy with me. They took the decision of shunting me, boycotting me and in varying degrees, cut off their contacts with me! (And I am still at a loss at the true reason!)

First, my two sons imposed some strict conditions as to my place of staying, freedom of movements (barred from seeing her) and activities monitoring. Then when they found out that I was unable to oblige to this loss of freedom and human rights (imagine! at this age and in this age!) and continued to meet the woman, they severed all my ties with them and their families! Total incommunicado! Of course, cutting off Facebook relations as well!

It is now more then seven months already. I do not know how long it will take to endure this situation but I am quite optimistic, with passing time my children will be able to see the whole situation more favorably. My two younger daughters are however more sympathetic, I would say, to my problem. I also understand that they have to be very careful with their attitude towards me because they may be under the other siblings' influence too! They maybe scorned, through their more friendly stance, to be supportive of me and my undertakings.

Anyway, I repeat, I am quite optimistic. And I am gradually taking some steps to work towards a more workable and amenable solution.

I have to say that I have reached the point of no return. I have to move forward, I have burnt all my bridges and I cannot look back! I believe I have met a good woman who is willing to be my life partner for the rest of my life!